jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
