pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
