Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
