i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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