i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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