I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
