That's intense
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
