Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
