Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
too bad you live with your parents still
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
