WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
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I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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