break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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