okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
