This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
