My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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