She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
this will be a night to untag.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
