your thong is hanging out like whoa
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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