By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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