I just saw a hot homeless man
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
