i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
