omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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