the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
