I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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