Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize