what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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