at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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