how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
