Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
