I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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