afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i think my cat just said my name.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
