then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
