I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
that is very illegal...i love you.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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