get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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