At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
