Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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