i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
