I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
