woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i wish my penis had a tongue
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
