I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize