I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
