he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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