I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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