Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
