dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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