Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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