think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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