That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
