she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
