good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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