meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
