five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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