i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
