Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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