marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
No subtext here. People are naked.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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