wat bout pragnant strippers??
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
