Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize