I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
