dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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