I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
