i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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