I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
