So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
