somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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