how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
