when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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