i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
