I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
