Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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