Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
