is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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